I'm a web developer. Cross platform and cross browser compatibility is a way of life. Especially when you work on a corporate website that generates thousands of hits per day by your customers. If your website doesn't work in the standard browsers and the major nonstandard browsers then you have a problem.

So let me be clear on this there are two standard browsers and two major non-standard browsers. They would be Microsoft's Internet Explorer, Apple's Safari, Mozilla's multiple Browser-lings, and Opera Software's Opera Browser respectively.

Of these currently IE and the FireFox flavor of Mozilla lead the pack. That's just how it is. Microsoft made their fortune by selling Windows as an OEM operating system and IE comes by default as well the attractive customization options of FireFox along with it's stable builds for multiple platforms make these two browsers the overwhelming choice of millions (though the argument could be made that the high use of IE is because people don't know any better, but facts are facts; IE is widely used).

Now I could go into the pros and cons of a constellation of browsers but that's not the point. The point is you can chose to use any browser you want.

Of course your choice is your opinion. You know what they say about opinions. They're like assholes. Everyone has them, and everyone thinks that theirs doesn't stink. Replace "opinions" with "web browsers" (or any noun really) and there you have it.

This is where the stereotypes come from

The IE Redneck: Here you have the joe six-packs of the world that bought their Podunk brand computer for 199.98 at Wal-Mart with hardware barely capable of running a calculator, let alone 21st century software. They still are using dial-up internet. And have absolutely no computer skills at all. Hasn't this cretin heard of FireFox by now? In fact he must live in the sticks, only inbreed hicks screw their sisters and use Windows.

The Safari Elitist. This breed of computer user frequently forgets that there is a difference between hardware and software and often refers to their computer by the name of it's operating system or brand name. Of course an Apple Computer is also a Personal Computer but you can't call it a PC it is reverently referred to as a "Mac". This species has a severe disdain for anything that is not anointed in the holy halls of the Apple Campus in Cupertino. Therefore only the Apple Safari web browser will do to view the internet. Any thing else would be a blasphemy.

The Mozilla Rebel. These are the anti-establishment heroes of the computer world. The throngs of angst ridden computer geeks, haXorz, goths, and technomancers dicontent to be slaves to the man. They look with disdain upon the corporate offerings of the likes of Microsoft and Apple. Sometimes they will use the heathen operating systems spewed by the evil corporate giants, but of course they will be cracked versions downloaded on a warez site because the rebel never ever pays for software. In fact all software should be open source. Like the greatest operating system ever made, Linux, which is the Rebel's operating system of choice for the tricked out, liquid cooled, cold-cathode-lighted, over-clocked, super rig. That is where Mozilla comes in, as an open source project it is the perfect browser for the rebel. Originally purified in the fires of the great Netscape insurrection against the evil Microsoft Windows Internet Explorer, Mozilla has become one of the most popular browsers in the world. Especially with the best browser in the world, FireFox. Anyway if you don't use a Mozilla browser you're just not 733t enough to know that you've sold your soul to Bill Gates (alternatively Steve Jobs) whom we all know is the dark lord Satan.

The Opera Convert. When an IE Redneck gets a clue or a Safari Elitist strays from the holy gospel of Apple they sometimes download Opera and then they feel like they really know what the're doing with a computer. It's like a new religion, and like new religions young children, the ignorant, and the old are suceptible to conversion. These minions like to show their friends, neighbors, and happles passerby how cool Opera is. They love to espouse how only they know how to browse the internet with their great new web browser. Like a convert to any new religion they are the worst kind because they target anyone to be saved by their new found faith. If you're not using Opera you haven't heard the word, my children.

By now if you aren't laughing, either I'm not funny (which is not possible because no one is funnier than I am) or you're actually taking me serious which up to this point you shouldn't be. What I'm attempting to do is to highlight the complete and utter ridiculousness of these stereotypes. Not all IE users are dolts. Not all Safari users are sanctimonious. Not all FireFox users are awesome rebel geeks. Not all Opera users are fanatics. And not a one of these browsers or any other browser is the end all beat all web browser to end web browsers. There is no Chuck Norris of web browsers. Because nothing can be as awesome as Chuck Norris or Chuck Norris would roundhouse kick it out of existence before it would ever reach his level of awesome.

This is why I think browser fanatics are just as annoying as game console fanboys (and fangirls) that argue incessantly over Nintendo vs. PlayStation vs. Xbox vs. Sega vs. Atari vs. Collecovision as though anyone gives a damn just play your games and quit crying about how awesome a console is. Or the parents of the little kid running around in the restaurant that think it's cute when he steals my french fries or knocks over drinks. Like the guy standing in the line at the DMV talking on his cell phone like he's standing in his living room talking about going to the doctor for his toe fungus. There is one thing in common; all of these people make you want to empty a few clips of 9mm ammunition into their chests because they are a waste of carbon.

The problem is that the internet is not standard. Things on the internet change and browsers change with them. That's why websites look and function a helluvalot better now than they did 10 years ago. Thanks in large part to MySpace that took all the ugly, terrible, disgusting yahoo, anglefire, and geocities home pages and rounded them up into a single ugly, terrible, and disgusting web site where everybody and nobody is your friend. It's like the inverse of Cheers, everyone knows your name but isn't glad you came and doesn't give a damn. And people that tile pictures of anything to create a background should be dunked feet first into acid, it never looks good...never. Just say no.

Now W3C does attempt to create and set standards, but if the browser software vendors, be they Apple, Microsoft, or open source programmers don't program to them, they don't mean a wad of camel spit. This means your browser can quickly become outdated and in serious need of an upgrade. For example if you are reading this blog post in IE4 and it doesn't look like I threw up on your monitor then you are either in 1995 and your internet connection is bouncing 12 years into the future off a super sunspot or you're a complete idiot. Windows 95 is no longer an acceptable operating system to be using, even if you live in a dirt hole in Iran. Incidentally if you live in a dirt hole in Iran get off the internet and go start a revolution in your country to bring peace, democracy, and an end to the 8th century. Come back to me when you've entered the 21st thank you very much.

Now here is a magical concept that may mystify you but take my sage advice: There is nothing wrong with using different browsers for different websites. I know it sounds like I'm on an acid trip, crazy talk like that, but it's true. I'm not a hippie and I don't drop acid so I can't be halucinating and saying things that are crazy. Note that I did not say the browser had a beard and was melting into a pile of cellophane that looks like John Lennon.

Why is this advice so awesome? Because some websites require the newest browser versions. Some browsers are quirky about certain things. Some web programmers have the above stereotypes engraned in their warped brains and code to one particular browser. There are a lot of reasons.

My motto is use what works. Attempting to force a flat-blade screwdriver to unscrew a allen-key lug is going to cause something to get stripped, either the head of the lug or your sanity. Use the right tool for the right job. Unfortunately this requires you to leave your browser prejudice at the door. This also requires the paradigm shift that there is no one browser. There can be only one immortal king of kings, which may or may not be the Highlander or Jesus depending on your belief system, but there is no one and only one browser that once you install it unlocks the magical universe of the internet.

If you believe that you can use only one browser to view and access everything on the internet you're going to be disappointed and pissed off. I flat out guarantee it.This is why I have as many different browsers as I can find installed that will run on my computer, and I also use them for testing purposes when I code as well. I'm not a complete douchbag asshole and take pleasure in watching people using IE get pissed off when I check for what browser they're using and then block the site telling them to download FireFox, I figure it should work for most everybody. So far I have personally had quite a bit of luck using IE and FireFox, pretty much everything works in those browsers right now. Tomorrow I might be loading up Safari or Opera more. Maybe I'll use SeaMonky just because I like the spiffy blue logo I don't know. I don't have enough time to be pissed off because some random site doesn't work in MY anointed copy of Netscape 7.23.3421234 that I installed on Linux in 2002. Nor do I have time to write a scathing letter to the web developer about how much of a ignorant moron he or she is and how they couldn't build a pile of shit in the toilet after going to Taco Bell let alone a web site since the web site looks hosed in their browser.

Open your mind and start learning how to actually use a computer as a tool rather than being a tool using a computer

Thank you. My name is Paladin, and I endorse this message.